viernes, 19 de junio de 2009

Anthropomorphic figures

Things that should never be said: "Hey, so, how does it feel to know you mom's ass is paying off college?"


Much beloved Hamlet quote: I could be bounded in a nutshell, and count myself a king of infinite space.


I didn't know Hawking wrote a book called "The Universe in a nutshell" because of it. Apparently it's a commonly discussed quote.


There are moments when I'm alone sitting on the floor of my room behind a closed door. Moments when all you hear inside is music, if at all. Sometimes I even lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling. In moments like that, I feel infinite. Not infinite like when I'm sitting by the seaside just falling in and out of love with the sea at the rhythm of the tide. Not infinite like when I scream my lungs out while driving in my car singing a meaningful song. Not infinite like those moments where I can feel nothing but alive. I feel infinite in a very insignificant way that isn't necessarily bad. Loneliness reminds me I'm not so big, that not every little thing I do will mean something. Fuck the chaos theory.
Realizing how small I am makes me look up to most everything. Knowing I have reached some of the things I've looked up to some time makes me feel accomplished. The things I haven't reached yet are still there and I'm still figuring a way to climb up to them. When I think of that I remember Wilde's wonderful saying "We're all lying in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars" and it makes me feel good.

And that's what life should be all about; feeling good.

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